(At the zoo in Plsen for my birthday, with our friend Lenka and two girls she was babysitting, Lucie and Jasmine; a falcon, or sokol, which Sokolov is named for; our rafting group in Cesky Krumov, on a trip for ESI teachers and friends; with one of my classes, 3B, and yes we're at the playground; with a study-abroad friend Kayla who came to visit, in Karlovy Vary; with some ESI friends in Vienna, at the Schonbrunn palace gardens and at dinner; the view out the kitchen window on a very stormy day.)
I have to confess, that I write this blog post somewhat unwillingly--for a few reasons, but maybe not for what you'd initially think; allow me to explain. Rest assured it's not for lack of a desire to communicate with you, my readers and supporters. I have so much enjoyed staying in contact with you, having a safe place and listening ears to hear my stories; and receiving your words of encouragement. Really, the reasons aret twofold: So much has happened since my last post, and the ugly procrastination beast has reared its head...I have so much to say, and no time, so I put it off again, and it cycles in a snowball effect. But you deserve an update. And the biggest reason for my reluctance is that this is my final post: it means I'm leaving!
As you can imagine, I have rather conflicted feelings about that. To be sure, the overwhelming feelings are those of relief, joy and excitement. I made it through the year! In less than two weeks, on July 3rd, I'm boarding a plane and heading back to places that are familiar and loved, to my dear friends and family, and always foremost in my mind, to a fiance whom I absolutely can't wait to marry!! I've literally been dreaming of our reunion since the moment I left. What a sense of accomplishment it will be when in 13 days we are face-to-face, on the other side, and this time no more goodbyes in sight, only the promise of never being separated again. This is what I am most looking forward to upon my return. This is what I would never in ten thousand years trade for anything. My life, my future, will be patiently waiting for me at the international arrivals in Chicago O'Hare airport!
But behind the overwhelming sense of happiness and anticipation, there certainly lurks a kernel of sadness. I've spent a year of my life here, and Sokolov will always be a part of me. I have been shaped, changed--spiritually, emotionally, relationally--in ways that I only partially understand, that will probably start coming out of the woodworks later on, and that will always be a piece of who I am. I've been thinking a lot about how Change is just about the only constant. All of our experiences move and shape us. Your year, wherever you are, has been no less impactful, important and precious than mine, only different. I do feel that this year has brought so much growth for me, as challenges always do: professionally, culturally, personally. I apologize for being vague about it all...my own understanding is very imperfect, and I'm glad I have a 9-hour plane ride to sit and think, journal and pray and reflect. But I know that far and away, as is usually the case, the people I met here are the most important factors. We really can't come in contact with anyone without feeling their mark or leaving our own, however big or small. I think of my wonderful roommate Sarah, with whom I shared tears, frustration, daily life, and lots of fun and laughter. I think of our Czech friends, Jarda and Lenka and Michal and Lenka and Petr, who were so generous and understanding and welcoming to us. I think of Milena, a patient and excellent teacher; Sam, a fellow American to share American and Wheaton culture with; all the other wonderful ESI teachers; and definitely my students. Not going to lie, some of them I definitely won't miss, though every one of them is special and worthy of my best effort. And a few of them probably have no idea how much I appreciate their eagerness, questions, and really just who they are as people. Kids are a lot of fun to be around, and every one of them has such a unique and precious story. I saw some of them once a week, some four times a week, for ten months. You can't brush shoulders with someone so often without having some form of relationship. I really, really wish I could bring home some of my primas, the squirelly but fun 5th graders, with my 3C class of juniors. What would I do with them? I don't really know, but I do know I'll miss them. I can't help but wish and pray the very best for them. Who knows what the future holds; I hope that I'll be back for a visit, because the Czech Republic is so special to me and to Michael. Perhaps some students will one day be in the US. Even if not though, I'm reminded of some song lyrics from the musical Wicked, and I know this is so cheesy, but it's appropriate:
"I've heard it said/that people come into our lives for a reason/bringing something we must learn/and we are led/to those who help us most to grow/if we let them/and we help them in return...who can say if I've been changed for the better/ but because I knew you/I have been changed for good."
So as this chapter closes and a new and hope-filled one opens, I have to look back with joy and thankfulness for what this year was. Thank you for being a part of my life, just like my students, friends and colleagues from this year. Thank you for listening, caring, and being interested; that is always the most helpful thing you can do for someone. Many of you I will see oh-so-soon!
Na sheldanou, goodbye, Sokolov!
As you can imagine, I have rather conflicted feelings about that. To be sure, the overwhelming feelings are those of relief, joy and excitement. I made it through the year! In less than two weeks, on July 3rd, I'm boarding a plane and heading back to places that are familiar and loved, to my dear friends and family, and always foremost in my mind, to a fiance whom I absolutely can't wait to marry!! I've literally been dreaming of our reunion since the moment I left. What a sense of accomplishment it will be when in 13 days we are face-to-face, on the other side, and this time no more goodbyes in sight, only the promise of never being separated again. This is what I am most looking forward to upon my return. This is what I would never in ten thousand years trade for anything. My life, my future, will be patiently waiting for me at the international arrivals in Chicago O'Hare airport!
But behind the overwhelming sense of happiness and anticipation, there certainly lurks a kernel of sadness. I've spent a year of my life here, and Sokolov will always be a part of me. I have been shaped, changed--spiritually, emotionally, relationally--in ways that I only partially understand, that will probably start coming out of the woodworks later on, and that will always be a piece of who I am. I've been thinking a lot about how Change is just about the only constant. All of our experiences move and shape us. Your year, wherever you are, has been no less impactful, important and precious than mine, only different. I do feel that this year has brought so much growth for me, as challenges always do: professionally, culturally, personally. I apologize for being vague about it all...my own understanding is very imperfect, and I'm glad I have a 9-hour plane ride to sit and think, journal and pray and reflect. But I know that far and away, as is usually the case, the people I met here are the most important factors. We really can't come in contact with anyone without feeling their mark or leaving our own, however big or small. I think of my wonderful roommate Sarah, with whom I shared tears, frustration, daily life, and lots of fun and laughter. I think of our Czech friends, Jarda and Lenka and Michal and Lenka and Petr, who were so generous and understanding and welcoming to us. I think of Milena, a patient and excellent teacher; Sam, a fellow American to share American and Wheaton culture with; all the other wonderful ESI teachers; and definitely my students. Not going to lie, some of them I definitely won't miss, though every one of them is special and worthy of my best effort. And a few of them probably have no idea how much I appreciate their eagerness, questions, and really just who they are as people. Kids are a lot of fun to be around, and every one of them has such a unique and precious story. I saw some of them once a week, some four times a week, for ten months. You can't brush shoulders with someone so often without having some form of relationship. I really, really wish I could bring home some of my primas, the squirelly but fun 5th graders, with my 3C class of juniors. What would I do with them? I don't really know, but I do know I'll miss them. I can't help but wish and pray the very best for them. Who knows what the future holds; I hope that I'll be back for a visit, because the Czech Republic is so special to me and to Michael. Perhaps some students will one day be in the US. Even if not though, I'm reminded of some song lyrics from the musical Wicked, and I know this is so cheesy, but it's appropriate:
"I've heard it said/that people come into our lives for a reason/bringing something we must learn/and we are led/to those who help us most to grow/if we let them/and we help them in return...who can say if I've been changed for the better/ but because I knew you/I have been changed for good."
So as this chapter closes and a new and hope-filled one opens, I have to look back with joy and thankfulness for what this year was. Thank you for being a part of my life, just like my students, friends and colleagues from this year. Thank you for listening, caring, and being interested; that is always the most helpful thing you can do for someone. Many of you I will see oh-so-soon!
Na sheldanou, goodbye, Sokolov!
